I have seen several posts recently about people that have failed anatomy but done well in other classes, blah blah blah.

Take it for what it's worth. The title of this fictional rant is.....

If I can become a CRNA, so can you, believe me.

First of all, understand, the 'schools' and 'admissions committees' are filled with normal people just like you and me. You aren't dealing with some machine. The administrators at all these schools are human beings with feelings and emotions and life problems just the same.

I was a fockin' nightmare as a kid. I shouldn't have been because my parents were 'upper middle class' and we lived in a big 5 bedroom house, and I grew up with love and support and all that crap. I had a car at 16 which several months of bong hits and beer drinking took it's toll. It was an automatic (vs. manual) transmission. I preferred a manual because I could rev up the engine and peel out the tires when I popped the clutch.

Well, I greased the transmission. I would put the car in neutral, red-line the engine and pop it into drive. I drove on golf courses doing 50 mph and then would crank the wheel and yank the E-brake trying to spin the car out like in the movies. what fun! unfortunately the car wound up in a canal one night.


My next car a couple months later, was a nice geared up Mustang 5.0 with a kick ass stereo system that woke up entire neighborhoods and rattled the glass windows in my car almost to the point of shatter. I promptly crashed into a tree one night on an LSD trip trying to impress my friends.

2 cars in less than 2 years didn't go over well at home. I was entering my senior year of high school. what a joke. I hated high school. time to drop out. see ya. I went and got a GED.

My mom said basically get a job, or go to college. I decided on college.

dude, community college rocked! All my friends drank beer, did jager bombs, bong hits, smoked hash, had long hair, and none of us went to class. We chased girls, got laid, got drunk, went to football games, puked in the parking lots of bars at 3am. it was great! I loved college!

Well, that didn't last. I made it 2 semesters and after academic probation and a run-in with the campus cops, I was promptly asked not to return. (I drank 1/2 a bottle of Magnesium Citrate and was caught deficating in the middle of the library on top of a table - don't ask.)

I went and got a job. Wow bro, delivering pizza really sux. no need to get into that story.

I bounced around every fastfood chain (mcD's, BK, TB, Wendy's) etc. never really holding a job for more than a couple months. I got a job at a car wash, but was fired the 2nd day for stealing quarters out of people's cars.

I was 23. living with 4 other friends in a crappy apartment making ends meet by selling dime bags to the high school kids and doing odd jobs here and there. One Wednesday night we were driving about 90mph down the highway, lost control, and crashed. 2 of us survived. I was in the hospital for approx 3 months. Had multiple ortho surgeries, spent a while in ICU, was intubated, etc.. etc.. get the picture?

That time in the hospital was life changing. I kind of made friends with this awesome nurse on the surgical floor named Tim. Man this guy was awesome. He was a caregiver if I ever saw one. but he was "cool" too. he spoke to me in my language. called me "bro" and said "dude, i gotta give you some meds".....stuff like that.

I received such great care in that hospital. The nurses were so awesome.

Well, one night while I was laying there with that f***king foley catheter irritated the tip of my prick, I started crying. My mom asked me what was wrong, I told her I was a loser. I wanted to change. I wanted to go back to college and become a nurse.

I cried all night.

Eventually I was discharged and returned home with mom.

That summer I re-applied to the same community college and after meeting with some committee, I was granted a one semester temporary admission on academic probation. I needed to maintain a C average or I was out.

I took 15 credits. 4.0 GPA.

but how?

I studied.

I had to start in pre-algebra. I didn't know how to multiply decimals or add fractions. I didn't really know any math because I was in a remedial math class in high school. (the one where they send the misfits).

I mean, I could add/subtract/multiply/divide. but beyond basic arithmetic, I was lost. It was like studying chinese. See but here's the thing. Here is the take home point. I don't give a G-ddamn **** how bad the professor is. 2+2 is always 4. it doesn't matter if the teacher sux at explaining things. Your femur is always part of your leg. "itis" always means inflamation of. "nephro" anything always has something to do with your kidney.....

it's up to you to learn. understand?

I studied. The teacher would assign in our prealgebra class for homework -- problems 1-20: even numbers only, so we could look up answers in the back.

There were 40 problems on that page. guess what? I DID ALL 40 PROBLEMS. ONE AT A TIME. EVERY ONE. SLOWLY. NEVER SKIPPING STEPS. I got a 100% on my first test.

Every day I went to the library after class. I left when I was done. sometimes that meant 10pm. sometimes that meant 4pm.

I retook every class I failed and received an "A". how???? I took the time to REALLY study. If I had an english paper assigned today-friday (due in 3 weeks), I spent the weekend doing the paper. It was complete with 2 weeks to spare. I would show up to professors office and ask him to review it. He looked at me like, WTF??? you are done already?? wow, well, ok then, you bet your ass I will go over it with you. (he saw I was a real student)

If I had algebra homework, 10 questions. I did all 40 questions.

I wound up getting A's on every math test in every math class I ever took. I wound up loving math. I became a math tutor for the university in their math lab. I went up through Calculus II. (keep in mind a couple years earlier I didn't even know how to add a focking fraction)

I was different the second time around....I was ready I guess.
I went to nursing school. same thing, all A's. I studied. I woke up early, stayed up late, showed up for school, etc. etc. My transcripts showed those early missteps.

believe me. my transcript and previous academic folly was nothing compared to getting a C in a science class. I mean, I shit in the library on top of a table after taking a laxative. I was thrown out of university. Had 4 misdemeanor arrests by 20 years old. 2 of which were drug related.

don't give me any focking sob story about a bad professor or some kind of family dysfunction that cause you not to study.

ok? do you want this?

I was a nurse for 8 years before starting Anesthesia school. I never really thought I would get in because of my "past". I felt like I barely became a nurse! I had to go before the board of nursing when I graduated nursing school to explain my criminal background before they granted me a license.

It was all part of my past. The committees and the people that are on them were all in high school at one time. They know what college is like. I was straight up with them. My first time around in college I wasn't serious. They knew it, they saw it. they understood it.

HOWEVER, when I WAS SERIOUS about school, it showed. I was a good student. I cut my hair, quit wearing Iron Maiden T-shirts, and took the 14 piercings out of my ears and face. I dressed nicely, presented myself well, sat in the front of the class, etc. etc. etc..

EARLY ACADEMIC MISTAKES ARE IRRELEVANT.

Take some time off. Get your head together. Get things straight. Come back when you are ready. You will know when you are ready. It isn't something you can force. It will just happen.

Becoming a Nurse Anesthetist isn't for everyone. Is it for you?

10 years later you will be able to look back and laugh. Just like me. You will sit there with amazement that you ever made anything of your life. I look back and wonder where I would be if I never got into that accident.......

Like I said way up above in this post. If I can do it. So can you.

I'm a CRNA.