S.O. on interview day?

[micn2crna1day]

I have an interview in a couple of weeks, and am starting to get a little paranoid about everything. I will be traveling out of state, and my husband is coming with me. He has stated that he wants to go with me to the school on the interview day and get a tour of the school grounds. Obviously, he will not be with me during the actual interview. Have any of you experienced this? Has anyone else brought along a significant other on interview day? I have worked really hard to get to the point of having an interview, and don't want to appear as being incompetent; having someone else with me and potentially asking questions about the school (trust me, I know my husband!!!).

Thanks in advance for any replies.

[jenga]

My school actually invited the interviewees' SO's to come for lunch the day of the interview. I did not bring my husband, though, because I not only thought that would make me more nervous, but was afraid it would make me look less independent. However, several people who are in my class now brought along their SO's on interview day. It might even make you seem like a more serious candidate since you're getting your spouse prepared for this commitment too. I would only bring him if the school invited him, though.

[pavementpounder]

I have an interview in a couple of weeks, and am starting to get a little paranoid about everything. I will be traveling out of state, and my husband is coming with me. He has stated that he wants to go with me to the school on the interview day and get a tour of the school grounds. Obviously, he will not be with me during the actual interview. Have any of you experienced this? Has anyone else brought along a significant other on interview day? I have worked really hard to get to the point of having an interview, and don't want to appear as being incompetent; having someone else with me and potentially asking questions about the school (trust me, I know my husband!!!).

Thanks in advance for any replies.

My wife came with me on the day of my interview. I think it was more of a support thing than anything else but I was glad to have her there. I saw several other spouses there as well and I think it's fine. It is important for your spouse to know what to expect and be educated on the process. If you are uncomfortable with your husband asking questions then maybe he can tell you his concerns and you can ask the questions that he might have. However, I don't think it is a big deal and depending on where you interview most Q&A is with current students and is pretty laid back.

Good Luck with the interview!

[maliggs]

My opinion is absolutely not. I didn't see anyone with their SO at any of my interviews. If he does come, he could wait in the car but I wouldn't bring him in. The day of your interview isn't really a time to "get a tour" or for your husband to ask questions. I am sure you will get a tour of some sort (one of the schools had private tours with a current student, the other one I went with a group of interviewees), but I would have felt very uncomfortable with my husband there.

[maliggs]

My wife came with me on the day of my interview. I think it was more of a support thing than anything else but I was glad to have her there. I saw several other spouses there as well and I think it's fine. It is important for your spouse to know what to expect and be educated on the process. If you are uncomfortable with your husband asking questions then maybe he can tell you his concerns and you can ask the questions that he might have. However, I don't think it is a big deal and depending on where you interview most Q&A is with current students and is pretty laid back.

Good Luck with the interview!


Haha. That is funny Tom. I interviewed at my clinical site which maybe changed my perception. Funny that we interviewed at the same school and had very different experiences.

[RebelBKM]

I would not bring the S.O. along on interview. As stated earlier, they could wait car if they wanted to be of support. Once you get in, prior to starting classes a lot of schools will have a meet and greet for the entire family. In my opinion, (unless invited by the school) the S.O. should be cheering from the sidelines.

[pavementpounder]

Haha. That is funny Tom. I interviewed at my clinical site which maybe changed my perception. Funny that we interviewed at the same school and had very different experiences.
Hey Malia,
It is funny. I was also going to suggest as an alternative to leave him in the car which is probably what my wife would want me to do if she were interviewing. However, it seems as if you beat me to the punch on that one.

I think the best thing to do is what is most comfortable to you as the interview process creates enough anxiety. I am sure your husband would understand and be willing to do what it takes to make you comfortable. If not once you get to the interview site call security and tell them some strange man keeps referring to you as his wife and that you have never seen him before...that should buy you a couple hours.

[My_brain_hurts]

Some people brought SOs to my interview (I did not). Technically, they could hang around school, and your interviewers would never know they were there. . . unless they follow you around, wait outside the interview door, damand immediate debriefing from you as you walk back to main gathering room, and/or give you pep-talks and boost your self-esteem like a boxing coach between rounds. That might not bee so cool. I'm sure you can guess why I included those activities. None of the people who's SOs did that are in my class :)

However, a couple of people in my class did bring SOs with them. They waited in the main room, or walked around the school while their other half was interviewing. Very much there for support, but not in a creepy, co-dependent way. When in doubt, you can always call the school and ask. Especially if you are travelling to the interview. That's just my opinion. I'm all for family support on big occasions :) Bringing mom or dad might be strange though. . . and yes, someone brought their mother to mine. . . and no they are not in my class.

And there is always the solution pavementpounder suggested. I can't believe I didn't think of that!

[wiscrna]

At our interview (and subsequent ones), everyone who brought along a "blanket" or "teddy bear" to hold during the interview was not looked upon favorably.

[Volatile42]

The interview is for you, not your s.o. They have no business being associated with the interview process. You need to be independent. It looks better. You should mention that you have support from your s.o. but not have him around, even after, to ask questions. They are there for you, nobody else. IMO

[pavementpounder]

The interview is for you, not your s.o. They have no business being associated with the interview process. You need to be independent. It looks better. You should mention that you have support from your s.o. but not have him around, even after, to ask questions. They are there for you, nobody else. IMO

Some of the responses seem a little harsh and I am wondering how many of these posts are by women. The only reason I ask is because it seems as if those who have posted are having their independence questioned by having the SO with them. I am proud of my wife because she is independent and wouldn't want it any other way. I have 3 daughters ( 2 high school seniors and 1 college freshman) and have always taught them to NEVER rely on anyone but themselves.

I mean "no business being associated with the interview process" seems a little too much for a couple that shares experiences and are devoted to supporting each other. I respect all the opinions but having a spouse come along if you choose to bring them does not equal weakness or lack of independence!!

[sallee13]

i agree with the absolutely not crowd. if necessary, bring them along and leave them in the car. the interview committee and process is for you alone. hopefully, you will have discussed most everything with your s.o. prior to the interview. and i say this having a very supportive husband. this is a joint effort and hopefully yours will be too.

[cathys01]

I don't think it's any more appropriate for him to "tag along" for a school interview than it would be for him to do the same for a job interview. Yes, he might travel along to the town, or even see the campus the day before, etc., but certainly not ask for a tour and ask questions unless he was specifically invited by the school and/or interview committee.

Now, if he were to do these things in an unofficial capacity without indicating the link to a CRNA program applicant, that might be different...but definitely not just show up with you on the day of your interview uninvited.

[Volatile42]

Not trying to be harsh. Just realistic. The comparison of bringing your spouse to a job interview is correct. Of course you wouldn't do that. This is the ultimate job interview.

[pavementpounder]

Maybe I am coming from a limited perspective. I only applied and interviewed at one school and was fortunate to be selected. When I received my interview letter it was indicated that my spouse could come. So, if that wasn't indicated in the letter than I agree that bringing the spouse in the interview area would be similar to coming along on a job interview. However, I stick to my guns on my previous post that having a spouse involved in this process in whatever capacity does not compromise the independence of the one being interviewed.

[Volatile42]

I agree with you. Of course you want your spouse as involved as possible. This is a big deal. Its life changing. I just dont think they should be at or involved with an interview. Unless, of course, invited.

[micn2crna1day]

Thank you all for your replies. Initially, I was wary of the idea of having my husband come along on the interview day, however I want him to feel as involved as possible; especially since there is a potential of us moving to another state if I am accepted. I also don't want to appear dependent on him; the comparison of him coming on interview day to going with me on a job interview was a good one. This actually happened once at a place where I worked; a woman brought her husband to the job interview. She was never hired. Although my husband is going to fly out of state with me, I'll definitely go by myself to the interview. Afterwards, we'll do some sightseeing to make up for his lost tour.

Thanks again!!!

[maliggs]

By no means do I think that bringing a SO means you're "co-dependent". I just think it's somewhat inappropriate unless they are invited. My husband wasn't invited to my interviews, so I didn't bring him. I agree that it's somewhat similar to a job interview. I think there is nothing wrong with having him wait somehwere close so you can tell him all about it!

[My_brain_hurts]

You can always call the school what the SO policy is! I think it really depends on the school --and on how you feel. Like I said, with the way my interviews were set up, SO never had to go near the location of the actual interviews. There is no need for them to follow you door to door, that would definitely be a little odd, I think.

I may be a little biased for the "family included" side. My first university experience was a A&M and they were very big on including family --parents, spouses, kids, siblings, etc.-- on orientation day and all that mess (this was in undergrad). If you're still torn about bringing him or not, you can always go to interview yourself and then come back to campus later and show him around. Ooo, yeah, actually, you could ask the school if you could bring husband to tour campus AFTER the interview (some schools are very strick with 'public tours'), and maybe they'll be like "heck, bring him along with you and he can walk around".

I'm female, and I in no way feel that having my husband around shows a lack of independence. But that's my non-admission committee experience opinion :)

[aero]

I would only bring the SO if invited. And I would caution against bringing the SO and having them wait in the car. I spent 9 years in recruiting before changing careers. I remember one candidate who had his wife wait in the car during his interview. He was hired (not by me) and it turned out his treatment of, and relationships with women, were horrible. Later, we all talked bout some warning signs with this guy, things we should have seen much earlier. One of them was his treatment of his wife by making her wait in the car during his interview.

Applicants are under a microscope on interview day, that includes before and after the interview. You are NEVER not interviewing when there...remember that. Does making your SO wait in the car mean you treat them badly and don't respect them? Or might it appear that the SO is so controlling that s/he can't even let you go to an interview on your own without being a moment's notice away? Not at all...but you don't want to even give programs that impression. Interviewers are often looking for reasons to rule people in and rule them out. If your husband is going to be along for the trip, have him drop you off, give you a kiss, wish you good luck and then disappear by driving out of the area until you are finished. Put your cell phone away and don't take it out until you are done with the interview and have left the building. Call him then to pick you up, go out to dinner, share with him everything you experienced over some wine, and write down questions you both have about the program. After being offered a slot is a good time to bring up the questions you both have. Good luck.

[mschicago]

DO NOT take your husband to the interview. I agree with the others if you get in you can take him for a tour latter.

[bettermj]

I believe if you come across as a confident individual in the interview, it won't hurt you. But after reading the other posts (from mostly women), I see a different perspective now.

If attending this school requires a move, it makes sense to involve your husband. But the women make a great point. The FIRST impression may be, "OMG.... what kind of person brings her husband??" And you'd have to REALLY knock them dead with your interview to change their mind.

If your husband DOES come, they'll be interviewing him too. So, don't let him dress too casual. If he thinks he's super funny to everyone he meets like I do, and is constantly looking for the great opportunity to display this talent, then you probably should leave him home.

Looking back on my interview, I think I could have pulled off bringing my wife. She's pretty, dresses very well, speaks eloquently, and I believe I would have been obviously very proud and excited to introduce her before I walked into the back room for my interview. But it was very cold outside, and our school is in the ghetto, so having her drive around or wait in the car would have been an obvious no no.

I kinda feel like the wives are more against bringing their husbands whereas the husbands think the opposite. If so, is it because the wives feel like it makes you look less independent? Just curious.

[maliggs]

I believe if you come across as a confident individual in the interview, it won't hurt you. But after reading the other posts (from mostly women), I see a different perspective now.

If attending this school requires a move, it makes sense to involve your husband. But the women make a great point. The FIRST impression may be, "OMG.... what kind of person brings her husband??" And you'd have to REALLY knock them dead with your interview to change their mind.

If your husband DOES come, they'll be interviewing him too. So, don't let him dress too casual. If he thinks he's super funny to everyone he meets like I do, and is constantly looking for the great opportunity to display this talent, then you probably should leave him home.

Looking back on my interview, I think I could have pulled off bringing my wife. She's pretty, dresses very well, speaks eloquently, and I believe I would have been obviously very proud and excited to introduce her before I walked into the back room for my interview. But it was very cold outside, and our school is in the ghetto, so having her drive around or wait in the car would have been an obvious no no.

I kinda feel like the wives are more against bringing their husbands whereas the husbands think the opposite. If so, is it because the wives feel like it makes you look less independent? Just curious.

Not at all. I just compare it to a job interview. I wouldn't ever bring my husband to a job interview. If you think about it, what IS the point of bringing your husband? If my husband didn't like something about the program, would that mean I would change my decision and not go to school? No. So what is the point in having him there? We had discussed the possibility of me going to school LONG before my interview, so at that point the deal was done (in my mind AND his mind) for me if I got in. Now, at my school they have a special "counseling" session (haha!) for the SO's on orientation day. So he got to meet people and see the school then. But I don't see the point. If they welcomed SO's (in the letter they send), then I think it's fine. But otherwise I wouldn't do it. It has nothing to do with independence. I am fully aware and accepting that my husband is my better half and I am absolutely dependent on his support to get me where I am today.

[bettermj]

Not at all. I just compare it to a job interview. I wouldn't ever bring my husband to a job interview. If you think about it, what IS the point of bringing your husband? If my husband didn't like something about the program, would that mean I would change my decision and not go to school? No. So what is the point in having him there? We had discussed the possibility of me going to school LONG before my interview, so at that point the deal was done (in my mind AND his mind) for me if I got in. Now, at my school they have a special "counseling" session (haha!) for the SO's on orientation day. So he got to meet people and see the school then. But I don't see the point. If they welcomed SO's (in the letter they send), then I think it's fine. But otherwise I wouldn't do it. It has nothing to do with independence. I am fully aware and accepting that my husband is my better half and I am absolutely dependent on his support to get me where I am today.
hope i didn't come across wrong. it was just a feeling (the difference b/w the men/women) I got reading the posts. Certainly don't mean to imply I think women are less independent.

it IS like a job interview, but I was just thinking about WHAT IF my SO wanted to come... that's all.

great point, tho.

[maliggs]

No you didn't come across wrong at all. I guess you can't hear my "tone" over a forum, I was just explaining my thought process. Like I said, if the SO is invited, that changes everything.

[bettermj]

No you didn't come across wrong at all. I guess you can't hear my "tone" over a forum, I was just explaining my thought process. Like I said, if the SO is invited, that changes everything.
with my luck, they'd invite my SO to attend their program instead.

[pigman08]

I dropped my betrothed (we were actually married @ the time, but I never got to use it when we were engaged) off for her interview @ Lincoln Memorial University and spent the morning touring the Abraham Lincoln Library and Museum on the campus. That's about as close as I wanted to get to her interview, as I have a unique propensity to become the proverbial turd in the punch bowl w/out much effort. SO's were not invited, and even if I had been, I would've kept my distance and let her pave her own road to success. She was accepted, but turned it down to go to UTK, about a mile and a half from the house... The offer she got from UT was a "punch bowl" moment: The PD called to speak w/ her when she wasn't home and I took the call. When I told him she was not home, he gave me his name and asked me to have her call him. Once I heard the name, I knew what it was about, and asked him point blank if I could tell her that she got into UT's program. He just laughed and said "No you'd better not". Now that she's in, I try to be as active as possible in any school or work related activities where she thinks she can polish me up and make me presentable.