Not so PC sayings!

[MmacFN]

Ok we have all heard em

Here are some "Jems" from a fake memo to healthcare providers.

Cardiac patients should not be referred to as suffering from MUH (messed up heart), PBS (pretty bad shape), PCL (pre-code looking) or HIBGIA (had it before, got it again).

Stroke patients are NOT "Charlie Carrots."
Nor are rescuers to use CCFCCP(Coo Coo for Cocoa Puffs) to describe their mental state.

Trauma patients are not CATS (cut all to shit), FDGB (fall down, go boom), TBC (total body crunch) or "hamburger helper." Similarly, descriptions of a car crash do not have to include phrases like "negative vehicle to vehicle interface" or "terminal deceleration syndrome."

HAZMAT teams are highly trained professionals, not "glow worms."
Persons with altered mental states as a result of drug use are not

considered "pharmaceutically gifted."





Gunshot wounds to the head are not "trans-occipital implants."
The homeless are not "urban outdoorsmen," nor is endotracheal intubation
referred to as a "PVC Challenge."





And finally, do not refer to recently deceased persons as being "paws
up," or TUBB (Tits up blowing bubbles) ART (assuming room
temperature), CC (Cancel Christmas), CTD (circling the drain), DRT (dead
right there) or NLPR (no long playing records).

[DebbieC]

I love these--they are hysterical.

I can add one: diagnosis of PPP (piss-poor protoplasm)
diagnosis of SOL (sh*t outta luck)

Then there are all the funny ones from House of God:

GOMER (get out of my emergency room)
and tons more

[trp100329]

A few come to mind:
FLK - funny-looking kid
JPFN - just plain flippin' nuts
DIB - dead in bed
LOL - little old lady
positive Q sign - jaw slack, tongue lolling out; as in, "the patient in bed four has a positive q sign - has anybody talked to the family about DNR?"

Terri

[kmchugh]

positive Q sign - jaw slack, tongue lolling out; as in, "the patient in bed four has a positive q sign - has anybody talked to the family about DNR?"

Terri
Actually, there are three stages to the positive Q sign.

Positive O sign: Slack jaw, mouth forming an O.

Positive Q sign: As you describe.

Positive Q sign with a dot: As you describe with a fly on the tongue.

KM

[kmchugh]

And one of my favorites: Three million sperm, and you're the BEST your daddy could do?

KM

[trp100329]

Hahaha!

Terri


Actually, there are three stages to the positive Q sign.

Positive O sign: Slack jaw, mouth forming an O.

Positive Q sign: As you describe.

Positive Q sign with a dot: As you describe with a fly on the tongue.

KM

[gaspasserval]

During a trauma last week:

Me: This guy's PGD, so do you wanna use scope on him?

CRNA: PGD?

me: Probably gonna die?

CRNA: uhhh yeah. How is scope metabolized?

me: screw you!

[RAYMAN]

And one of my favorites: Three million sperm, and you're the BEST your daddy could do?

KM

I love it! Gonna have to remember that one!

ray

[JCBrown]

I've always liked

DFODRT-done fell out dead right there

and for multigravida pts

"That baby just PFO!" PFO=plum fell out

dead folks=

"transfered to the ECU or RCU" for "Eternal care unit" and "Refrigerated care unit"

[trp100329]

Haha! We say the patient has taken a "celestial transfer" or a "celestial discharge." I do live in the middle of the Bible belt, after all! :)

Terri


I've always liked

DFODRT-done fell out dead right there

and for multigravida pts

"That baby just PFO!" PFO=plum fell out

dead folks=

"transfered to the ECU or RCU" for "Eternal care unit" and "Refrigerated care unit"

[RAYMAN]

Haha! We say the patient has taken a "celestial transfer" or a "celestial discharge." I do live in the middle of the Bible belt, after all! :)

Terri

Those are the preferred terms around here also. Ya'll do realize this thread would get us all banned from allnazis????

bwhahahahahaha

[trp100329]

Okay, in the spirit of your non-PC thread, I have to tell you about EVAT scores. A couple of friends and I were working one night in the unit and every single patient that wasn't tubed and sedated was nuts. One guy managed to hide a knife and pulled it on us, another had a nutcase family, a third had crushed oxycontin and injected it into his veins... just nuts.

So, as we were filling out the falls risk assessment tool, and the braden skin assessment tool, we came up with our own assessment scale - the Entertainment Value Assessment Tool - or EVAT. Basically, the patient (or family member) gets a point for every whacked-out (entertaining) thing they do, based on the idea that it might not be entertaining at the moment but will be funnier than hell related to cowrokers over a beer at a later date.

Thus, the higher the score, the crazier the person in question. We could say to one another "EVAT scores are through the roof in the ER tonight!" and nobody who wasn't in on the joke had a clue what we were talking about.

The great strength of the EVAT score is it can be used to evaluate anybody - patients, family members, doctors, staff - even yourself, on particularly bad days...

So, what do you think - should I prep it for publication? :)

Terri

[assilem]

definitely, and that will be the one additonal piece of required paperwork charting that we WON't mind doing!

[MmacFN]

BWhahahahha

[aaron 465]

A few come to mind:
FLK - funny-looking kid
JPFN - just plain flippin' nuts
DIB - dead in bed
LOL - little old lady
positive Q sign - jaw slack, tongue lolling out; as in, "the patient in bed four has a positive q sign - has anybody talked to the family about DNR?"

Terri


Modification of LOL for granny found down -

LOLOL - Little Old Lady On Linoleum


And an ER favorite-

AMF YOYO - Adios M F'er. You're On Your Own

[JCBrown]

Okay, in the spirit of your non-PC thread, I have to tell you about EVAT scores. A couple of friends and I were working one night in the unit and every single patient that wasn't tubed and sedated was nuts. One guy managed to hide a knife and pulled it on us, another had a nutcase family, a third had crushed oxycontin and injected it into his veins... just nuts.

So, as we were filling out the falls risk assessment tool, and the braden skin assessment tool, we came up with our own assessment scale - the Entertainment Value Assessment Tool - or EVAT. Basically, the patient (or family member) gets a point for every whacked-out (entertaining) thing they do, based on the idea that it might not be entertaining at the moment but will be funnier than hell related to cowrokers over a beer at a later date.

Thus, the higher the score, the crazier the person in question. We could say to one another "EVAT scores are through the roof in the ER tonight!" and nobody who wasn't in on the joke had a clue what we were talking about.

The great strength of the EVAT score is it can be used to evaluate anybody - patients, family members, doctors, staff - even yourself, on particularly bad days...

So, what do you think - should I prep it for publication? :)

Terri
I've also heard of a GT index that's "Gold Tooth Index" evidently some gang members get a gold tooth each time they are stabbed or shot, so a guy with seven gold teeth (7 on the GT index)is a tough dude and is unlikely to succumb to his injuries, where the same injuries on a guy with a GT-1 may not stand a chance.

[MmacFN]

Lets not forget

Inverse Tooth to Tattoo ratio

[Lydia12]

And in our area, its apparently a gang status upgrade depending on how bad your GSW is to your abdomen. If you are under 25 and "earn" a colostomy, you are automatically upgraded to elite status. A colostomy symbolizes being tough. Not sure what this could be called though....

[trp100329]

Well - if a colostomy is what it takes to be tough, I think I'll remain a wuss... :)

Terri


And in our area, its apparently a gang status upgrade depending on how bad your GSW is to your abdomen. If you are under 25 and "earn" a colostomy, you are automatically upgraded to elite status. A colostomy symbolizes being tough. Not sure what this could be called though....

[gburchett]

How about this:
BATS Fx: Broken All To Sh*t
FUBAR (I think we already know this one)
DAS: Dead as sh*t
DFO'd: Done fell out
LOC: lookin for the coroner

Greg

[gasmn2b]

Gotta add my 0.02

DOV-DEAD ON VENT actually written on a report sheet in the a.m. (quite frequently)

FLB's-FUNNY LOOKING BEATS in reference to a particularly strange EKG strip

SNF-No it doesn't mean SKILLED NURSING FLOOR for the lack of smells associated with it

For those people who work in states without helmet laws, a motorcycle is affectionately termed a DONORCYCLE

And in someplaces the tooth:tattoo ratio is better correlated to #teeth=I.Q. and that is more for the visitors than the patients