Any advice from husbands of SRNAs??

[TLC]

I’m a 24-year-old married woman starting school this August. By the time school starts, my husband and I will have been married 2 years with no kids. I know not having kids makes this a little easier, but I’m still worried about how my 28 months of education will impact him. He’s been very supportive of my goal and has encouraged me through every step in the application process. I’ve talked to him about how much of a time commitment school will be, but I don’t think he really understands. We started dating when I was in college, so I think he’s thinking it will be like nursing school. Also, he got his MBA a few years ago (he literally studied for 2 hours a week or less), so I think that also plays into his misconception about grad school time commitments. Luckily, the school I will be attending is only 10 miles from my house and my clinical site is less than 5 miles so we can continue to live together. He has a great job, but I know he’s getting stressed out about our finances (probably because he’s a Financial Analyst) and how he is going to continue to pay our mortgage, car loans, country club membership, and still find money to buy groceries and other basic necessities. We plan on taking out loans to pay for school and probably a little more to supplement his income. Luckily, the school I will be attending is only 10 miles from my house and my clinical site is less than 5 miles away so we can continue to live together and don’t have to get me an apartment somewhere is Kansas or Louisiana.

So, I’m looking for any advice I can give him from husbands of SRNAs or if the ladies can tell me how your husband dealt with you being in school/studying all the time.

[bocephus]

TLC,
I am the husband of an SRNA that is starting in August as well. We are not so lucky, she will be moving 2.5 hours away and leaving our six and eleven year old sons behind with me. It is going to stress us all out very much, but she has been working so hard to get to this point. All I can say is that I have taken the time to research what hard work and determination it takes to become a CRNA. I truly enjoy reading the posts on this site to see the challenges you all have faced and are facing to get to where you want to be. I also see all the challenges the current CRNA's make to keep their profession alive. I have nothing but unwavering support for my wife to set out and become a successful CRNA one day. In some ways it is good that she is moving away. We will not be there to be a distraction on her, and she can room with others in her class to have a built in support group. I hope your husband has done the same research and supports you through the entire process. It is easy being supportive while you are simply applying and interviewing, but will he step up and sacrifice everything to see you succeed to the end? I would make sure he reads some of these posts to see what it is going to take to make it through the 2.5 years you will be in school. I wish you the best...

[squeege]

he’s getting stressed out about our finances (probably because he’s a Financial Analyst) and how he is going to continue to pay our mortgage, car loans, country club membership, and still find money to buy groceries and other basic necessities. We plan on taking out loans to pay for school and probably a little more to supplement his income.

Just suggestions: Sell the cars that have loans on them & purchase used vehicles without payments. Drop the country club membership. Budget & live within the budget stress-free.

Sq

[TLC]

Haha I knew someone would suggest dropping the country club membership... I think golf will be the one thing that will keep him from going crazy! If he can golf every weekend, he would be be really happy and it would give me a solid 4-5 hours of study time without distractions. Also, the membership is sort of an investment (it will be worth 4 times what we paid for it when it matures), and we get so much enjoyment out of being members that we're willing to stretch our budget for 2.5 years for a lifetime of membership.

Thanks for your input! I'm going to suggest he reads the threads geared towards SRNAs so can really see what it will take for me to successfully complete the program and hopefully have a better understanding of the time commitment required.

[menneab]

I'm not familiar with the Texas market, and I don't speak country club lingo, but you should beware your investment may be lost if you have to leave the area after graduation to find work before the membership "matures".

Just something to consider.

[armygas]

I live and work in Texas.

Plenty of work........plenty!

The Sprint Epic Phone Rules!

[squeege]

Please do not take this as an attack.

So what you are saying is this investment (which you admitted you cannot afford to keep) is more important than you and your husband eating and minimizing your stress over the next three years. I do understand taking out EDUCATION loans as an investment in your future, but PERSONAL, NON-SECURED loans to live on the basic necessities? In the words of Suze Orman “are you kidding me?” I see you are 24 yrs of age & were probably busy with school & life during the last few years, but people (and countries) taking out these loans really cripple economies, both within the home and worldwide.

Please learn from others’ misfortunes: within the last year there is a young man, finishing up his senior year as SRNA who is paralyzed (I believe from Georgetown) & has a wife and children. I cannot imagine the financial hardship that family is living with.

I stand by my first suggestion. You can sell the cars, drop the membership until you can buy them outright, probably buy a set of rabbit ears & drop the satellite TV too and live with much less stress & concentrate on your other half & school.

Healthfully yours,
Squeege

[Anthony]

Great....Great...advice....
Please do not take this as an attack.

So what you are saying is this investment (which you admitted you cannot afford to keep) is more important than you and your husband eating and minimizing your stress over the next three years. I do understand taking out EDUCATION loans as an investment in your future, but PERSONAL, NON-SECURED loans to live on the basic necessities? In the words of Suze Orman “are you kidding me?” I see you are 24 yrs of age & were probably busy with school & life during the last few years, but people (and countries) taking out these loans really cripple economies, both within the home and worldwide.

Please learn from others’ misfortunes: within the last year there is a young man, finishing up his senior year as SRNA who is paralyzed (I believe from Georgetown) & has a wife and children. I cannot imagine the financial hardship that family is living with.

I stand by my first suggestion. You can sell the cars, drop the membership until you can buy them outright, probably buy a set of rabbit ears & drop the satellite TV too and live with much less stress & concentrate on your other half & school.

Healthfully yours,
Squeege

[RAYMAN]

Tell him to grow a pair and deal with it. Minimal student loans will make you happy after school...don't believe any of that "take all the loans you can cause they will be easy to pay off BS".

[sus182]

Tell him it could be worse. Two months after I got married, I moved across the country from my husband to go to school. He gets the privilege of flying to visit me once or twice a month (we fly for free- so at least there is not cost involved). And a lot of the time, when he flies across the country to come visit me, he gets to hang out by himself or with my mom while I study/ go to clinical.

It's great fun.

I'd probably cut some expenses. It'll help with the stress level.

[TLC]

Thanks for all the input from everyone, I really appreciate it. Maybe I should have been more clear with my original post... I'm looking more for advice for him to deal with my time being consumed by school, not really financial advice. We've been good about saving money (but we would live to reserve that for emergencies), he makes good money, but when I quit working, we'll definitely need to adjust our lifestyle... no vacations, no fancy dinners, etc. We're both very financially responsible so I don't think we'll be the ones to cripple the economy (actually my husband doesn't want to take out an additional loan). We do plan to stay in this area of Texas so that's why we would like to continue our membership.

So mostly, I'm wondering how husbands deal with continuing to do all the things they usually do for the household, pick up the responsibilities that their wife used to do, and do all of it with less attention and emotional support for their wife. Thanks in advance!

[ethernaut]

So mostly, I'm wondering how husbands deal with continuing to do all the things they usually do for the household, pick up the responsibilities that their wife used to do, and do all of it with less attention and emotional support for their wife. Thanks in advance!

if you mean anything to him, he'll simply step up and do what's necessary without much complaining. at least to you anyway. anybody can endure most anything for 30 months, especially if you both will benefit in the end, to what degree will be determined in time. just my $0.02.

[pigman08]

if you mean anything to him, he'll simply step up and do what's necessary without much complaining

That pretty much sums it up... We're in the same situation but only 2 miles from her primary clinical site w/ about 6 months to go 'til she's done... I knew from the start that my primary job on the homefront was to shoulder as much responsibility for domestic duties as possible while taking as much stress off of her shoulders as possible... I actually kind of enjoy it because I do most of the cooking so I'm always gonna have something that I like for dinner... I pack up left overs so she can take them to lunch the next day & get beaucoup brownie points for that... Now, my standards of a clean house are a far cry from what hers are (w/ the exception of MY kitchen), but she appreciates any effort that I put into it & I do my best not to complain... Granted, I work out of the country f/ six months out of the year to keep her in the lifestyle that she's accustomed to, but when I come home every 28 days I try to pick up as much slack as possible... When she decided to take this journey, it took me about 10 seconds (I've never been known for quick thinking) to figure out that this is going to benefit BOTH of us for the rest of our lives... Like Ether said, 30 months is NOTHING in the greater scheme of things when you consider the 30-40 years that you'll be able to work as a CRNA... You've gotta make him see that !!!

[bettermj]

... I'm looking more for advice for him to deal with my time being consumed by school, not really financial advice.

So mostly, I'm wondering how husbands deal with continuing to do all the things they usually do for the household, pick up the responsibilities that their wife used to do, and do all of it with less attention and emotional support for their wife. Thanks in advance!

Have y'all considered hiring a surragate girlfriend?? I'm just say'n.

[TLC]

Have y'all considered hiring a surragate girlfriend?? I'm just say'n.

Hmmm... do you think she would clean my house and cook for me?! LOL

[bettermj]

Hmmm... do you think she would clean my house and cook for me?! LOL

that too!

[sclucas]

TLC! :) I realize you posted this a few months back. I'm stuck at an uneventful OB night and was able to read some posts.

I assume you are headed to TCU for school? congrats first and foremost! where did you work as an RN, if you don't mind my asking? I moved from the Dallas area (Parkland) to attend CRNA school in California. I know TCU utilizes some clinical sites out here and we run into some of you guys at the hospital.

Good luck with everything! This process is work for everyone involved, including our husbands. They sacrifice a lot as well (mainly their precious time with you). My husband has been insanely understanding (although he's a nurse also and very knowledgable on what goes in to all this). But if I had one word of advice, just continually thank him for all he does to help. Show him appreciation when the time is right. That goes a long way.

[TLC]

Hey sclucas, greetings from back home in Texas! I'm will actually be going to Texas Wesleyan and doing clinicals at JPS, but I went to TCU for undergrad and I still bleed purple :) I currently work at Cook Children's NICU, but only for 30 more shifts... I'm already on the countdown! I think TCU has 3 clinical sites in California, but TWU only has one in Colton, so probably not the same site that you have,

Thanks for your encouragement and advice! My husband has already started to step up and do little things around the house that I usually do (sometimes he wakes up early before work and cleans the kitchen and he's even given our puppy a bath... complete with a blow dry haha). And he's taking me on our "last" vacation tomorrow (well, for a few years anyway) to a Caribbean cruise. I really appreciate all the little things (and the big things!) he's doing, so hopefully this continues once school starts!